To Cook or Not to Cook?

I love eating out, I love how I can just sit back and relax.  I can enjoy time with my family and not stuck in the kitchen. Lately, eating out has not been loving me back. My weight loss had stalled and it was hitting the finances hard.  I was shocked at how much of our money was going to just eat out.  Yes, eating out has its perks.  Not having to worry about cooking or doing dishes is really enticing at times.  We were wasting more time and money going out to eat.

I understood the importance of planning meals I just never did it. I could always find some excuse, and it cost us. In my mind, it was always easier to go out to eat. I never thought about all time I was wasting. The time it takes to drive to the restaurant. Then wait to order. Finally order, just to wait for the food.  Then wait for check, Pay and drive home.   I am not accounting for any backups that can occur, or bad service that can happen.

Cooking at home cuts out the time lost to waiting.  The meal would be cooked and dishes cleaned all by the time the food arrived. With that realization, my whole outlook on cooking changed. It was weird. Everything that I read about meal planning finally made sense.  So, I busted out my day planner. Sectioned off the monthly sections to keep events and meals separate. Busted out my cookbooks and laptop and went to work.

In the short time that we have been eating at home my husband has lost some weight and the kids are eating more fruits and veggies.  I am not throwing away as much food as I used to.  I am finally using the cookbooks I have bought to help me lose the weight. The kids are now asking for my cooking instead of a restaurant.

My origin story

I grew up in a small town in Massachusetts 30 minutes outside of Boston. My issues with food and my body image came into play the same time for most girls my age of 13.  I remember my mom always dieting and on weight watchers. She never realized what an impact it had on me I felt if my mom thought she was fat, what about me? Then one of my friend was diagnosed with anorexia. She was always thin, but ended up becoming scary thin.  I remember going to my mom while she was getting treatment that she is boring now.

I think back and wish I was more understanding but at the time I was starting to have my own food issues.  At 15 my family makes a huge move to Houston Texas.  I thought I was adjusting okay but I wasn’t. I suddenly stood out.  I had an accent that I never thought I had before.  My body image went low, especially since some of the girls in my high school were former beauty queens and models. At 16 I started restricting my eating, I was impressed that I could get full on a small McDonald shake. I was so malnourished that I got shingles as a teenager. I still have outbreaks at times when I am extremely stressed they are never as server they were when I 16.

By the time, I met my husband I was already obese according to the evil BMI charts.  I was happy that someone loved me for me and not how I looked. I still had a secret I would still binge and purge every few months.  Then I got pregnant with my first child.  I gained 30 lbs. during that pregnancy. I had all sorts of problems with my first pregnancy. Pregnancy induced hypertension I was put on a special diet and had to be put on moderate bed rest.  Once I had my daughter and was nursing all the baby weight was going away. I was even lost more than my pre-baby weight. Then I got pregnant again with my second child. I ended up gaining the same amount of weight that I did with my first pregnancy.  That time the weight didn’t come off as well. I managed to lose 10 lbs. but that was it. Then it started to go up.

The worst my weight got was when we moved to Alaska. I was okay the first year, but as the winters got longer and the summer shorter it took its toll on me.  While living in Alaska I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder and  bad sessional depression. My only way to cope was with food. I stopped all sorts of purging by now because I didn’t want my girls to pick up bad habits.  Yet, I was fine letting them seem me eat a whole pizza in a day. I was at a loss, I tried OA, FAA, and weight watchers.  I was never truly serious enough to do what I truly needed to do.

Two events took place to get me to start changing. The first was when I was going to my best friend’s wedding. Living in Alaska pretty much means two ways of travel during certain times of year plane, ferry and auto. Since it was just after winter and would take 4 days to drive to Oregon we had to fly. I hate flying, mainly for the fear of crashing. This trip I added another fear. Not being able to fit in the seat. I barley fit. Thank God I was sitting next to my kids because I could move the arm rest up. This time however, I was just an inch of needing a seat belt extender. I don’t really know how much I really weighed because I got rid of my scale. When I weighed myself at work after the wedding I was at 283.  This was an all-time high. So, I started trying to find something that would help.

Yet, I fell into a state of complacency. I started to feel that I am just destined to be fat. Then something happened that freaked me out. I would be sitting at my desk at work and my heart rate would be at 80. It is in the normal range but at the higher side.  Okay maybe this is a fluke, but it kept going on for the whole week. On February 2, 2016, I signed up for weight watcher this time I stuck with it and by my weight loss anniversary I was 38 lbs. lighter. It was not the huge loss I was hoping for but I will take it over going higher.

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I am no way done yet. I have about 60 lbs. more to lose and a torn Achilles tendon to heal from. I am not on weight watcher at the moment  due to having to deal with financial issues that arose during our five year exile to Alaska. I am taking what I have learned from weight watcher. Track everything you eat, move, water, water and more water and support. Support have been the biggest thing for me. Without my supportive comic geek husband, and the weight watcher connect community I would have been lost.

 

Yummy Coffee

     My must needed coffee this morning. Saturdays are my weigh in days. Today there was no change from last week. I consider that a win. I am on steroids for an ankle injury that I have been dealing with for a year. The past few days I have been starving. Working out has been cut as well. I  now have a chance to fully concentrate  on my nutrition.

New skills

     For my one year anniversary of being on Weight Watchers and weight loss journey I bought this cookbook. Today I started using it. I made the oven baked fries, and they where delicious. 

Slow and Steady

    I have been on this weight loss journey for a year. It has been slow going for now. The picture on the left is from two years ago. On that trip I realized I needed to make a change. I had to go on an airplane and I was five pounds away from needing a seat belt extender. 

     That was my biggest wake up call. It would be months before I really got my act together. I am still working on it. I am slowly losing and that is fine. This is my Journey.

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Trying to lose weight is hard. There are so many tempting foods out there and items that may seem healthy are in fact just as bad as fast food. so what is one supposed to  do to stay healthy and active.  My weight isssues are just like everyone else. I am tempted by tasty food that are  processed, high in sugar and fat. I have had weight and body issues since 12 years old. I was diganosed with bullimia and binge eating disorder in college. For years I thought I was  fat and then when I began to gain the weight I was in so much denial that when I looked in the mirror and photos I was mortified at the person that was looking back at me.

My health started to suffer when I go pregnant. I suffered from pregnacy induced hypertension  when I was pregnat with my first child. I was depressed all of the time. This was murder on my self esteem and self worth that I was put on medication. The only thing that the medication did was add more weight and made it almost impossible to lose.  I was desprate.

last  Febuary I joined a popular weight loss club. I belonged to this club before and lost a few pounds on it. I would have lost more weight if I followed it. So sitting at my desk I joined. I had trouble the first few weeks but got it. I started to lose slowly but the scale was no longer going up. A few months later my family moved across the country from  Alaska to Goergia. It was an insane road trip, that I did in under 9 days.

I would like to say that I kept loseing weight but that is not what happened. I hit a plateau for the first month here.  One week I would lose 4 pounds the next week gain the 4 pounds back. My weight did that for a month. I was frustrated to the point of giving up.  Last week  I took up a challenge where I  have to stay on the program  for the month of August. No Cheating.  I finally got back to the weight I was when I first arrived to Georgia.